entry 22: live.write

October 14, 2008

It’s been far too long since I’ve written here. Which is a shame really, because there is so much to be said and so much to be recorded at any given point. Let’s not kid ourselves though, as this blog at best is only semi-autobiographical. Which is to say, I only use my life as a jumping off point to go into all those things that might strike my interest for any fleeting moment. Which is the heart of any typical blogger but my process is my own and it’s something worth putting words to.

I have this tendency to be overly protective of the details of my life. In my experience it is one of the best ways to keep it sacred. There are reasons why celebrities enjoy their privacy. By no means am I celebrity and I would never aspire for that status. 

All of this is to say, that while writing is an important discipline in my life, making it public is still somewhat of a scary thing. Which isn’t to say that I fear you; I don’t, because I don’t fear much in life. It’s scary because I have to determine what might be most useful to voice. I could assume that it is all useful and that I have the freedom to voice whatever I want whenever I wish; but I wouldn’t dare be one of those obnoxious protestors on a megaphone. I choose carefully when I am to speak because I believe there is wisdom in that. It’s an ethic I hold daily and it’s something that caries over to what I may write on the internet. 

When I do choose to write it’s as I’ve said “semi-autobiographical”; but in order for it to reach that point a certain amount of living needs to take place; the best writers I believe speak from experience. I could take the time to blog about so many things but in my mind it seems, as of right now, premature. So, I’m spending my time doing research. Living and observing the experience and years from now you’ll see the results in a way dramatic.  

I could be taking this all too seriously, it is afterall just a blog. However though, I’ve recently read about the power of words and how words speak reality into existence; this is something I’ve always believed to be true and so I’m careful. The last thing I’d ever want to be is careless


entry 21: practice and learning

July 9, 2008

In the face of adversity, most people question why.

As I move through life, I’m finding that those types of why questions are becoming increasingly immature. My understanding is becoming such that, if something exists, it exists with purpose. As mysterious or as hard as that purpose may be, it is completely important that it is found and used to propel my life forward.

This is in regards to reflection; the past tense. There is also a very real present tense adversity that seeks life out, with the intention of destruction. Quite often this looks like conflict.

Generosity towers over conflict. Generosity I’m finding in my life is a verb form of another word, that being, Peace. I believe very strongly in the idea of Peace. It is so completely predicatable to fight conflict with conflict; I am predicatable when I’m the person I’m not intended to be.

This week conflict sought me out and I didn’t fail. I was able to see it for what it was and I was able to respond in such a way that was beneficial to not only my life, but in a way genuinely interested in the benefit of the other person involved. This is a disciplined practice. A practice that I intend to uphold and become more efficient in as I move through this life.

A measure of how progessive a life is lived is to examine how many enemies surround that life. I’m taking assurance in the fact that there are enemies in my life.


entry 20: I have a website

July 3, 2008

Point your browser in this direction: http://sethwright.weebly.com/

An official domain name will come in time.  As of now though going through weebly is perfectly suffcient.


entry 19: reminder

June 3, 2008

Conflict resolution hurts sometimes.


entry 18: rip off your bandage

May 29, 2008

It almost makes sense when people want to pull their bandages off slowly. Almost. The common assumption is that the slower you go the less it will hurt.

We both know though that, sadly, this isn’t the case. What always happens is that when you take your time you are doubling the pain that you would experience more intensely only for an instant. This said, it makes logical sense to go the quicker but more painful route every. single. time.

But this doesn’t happen always does it?

Is it that we are all secretly masochists? No, I hardly ever think that is the case. What I think it comes down to is that the natural inclination in most people is that they think that this very quick and intense pain is more than what they can bear. They are afraid to face reality all at once and so they hide behind this slow, dull, numbing pain that creates the illusion of things really not being all that bad.

The ironic thing is that it usually is never as bad as what we make it out to be in our minds. It’s this fear that keeps us on this slow and destructive course. We find ourselves doing the predicatable and safe but at the end of the day we stand deceived because reality isn’t represented.

In order to live a life loved, I’ve learned that reality in all it’s fullness must be present. If that means taking a shot of quick and intense hurt every now and again, then so be it. As much as it hurts; it has to be remembered that it only lasts an instant and in the end your time and your love are your most precious resources.


entry 17: logic and empathy

May 15, 2008

A close friend of mine is going through the fallout of experiencing the worst breakup of his life.

This is tough on him and me and many people around him. Depression isn’t an isolated emotion; it spills over on to the lives of others and it hurts. The crazy thing is that it’s supposed to work like this, sometimes I think it would be so much easier if people didn’t effect each other. The reality is though, our actions and words do impact each other and because of this relationship is necessary.

All relationships matter; it’s just that the stakes are so much higher when you happen to be close with someone. Up until recently this has been a point of stress for me (I’ll get to why specifically in a moment). This is such a crucial period for my friend that is going through all of this and for me it serves as a reminder of where I once was. This memory haunts me every time I happen to be around him; it’s like I’m looking at mirror of myself from a few years ago. You see, I too was heavilly impacted by the fallout of a bad breakup.

Back when I went through my summer of depression the community that I was a part of failed me (save for a couple of close friends I have to this day one of which became my wife). They either completely ignored what I was going through or tried to medicate me by methods of substance abuse. Suffice it to say, these haphazard friends got me nowhere fast.

With all of this in mind I have been speaking all the words I wish someone spoke to me back then. So much of it is just direct logic. My thinking was “I can spare my friend all of this hurt if he just hears _____” and while this may be the purest of motives it is slightly misguided. As right and valued as my logic might be empathy has to come first. In this particular instance empathy came as an afterthought. As I became aware of this I became painfully aware that this is a habit pattern of mine.

My tendency is to use logic as a means to eliminate emotional pain. The interesting reality is that sometimes people just need to grieve. For a long time I thought that this grieving tendency in people was just emotional masochism, it seemed to me that people want to stay hurt. Nothing could be further from the truth; it’s not that people want to stay hurt it’s that they need to stay hurt for a time. It’s out of necessity that these emotions take time to process, not choice.

I’ve worked on sharpening my logical mind for a long time, my empathetic heart needs more work. Whatever empathy I do happen to have I credit my wife in bringing this out these days. She has the most beautiful heart.


entry 16: 04.2007 – 04.2008

May 12, 2008

- 2k debt paid off
- moved from participating in a house church to leading one
- our house church was specifically selected to work in a HIV/AIDS hospice in South Africa
- Emilie has someone she mentors unofficially
- I have someone I mentor officially
- Emilie and I have read two worldview shaping books together
- I was able to watch one of my favorite bands perform live (interpol)
- Emilie was able to watch one of her favorite bands perform live (matchbox twenty)
- Emilie and I have been able to spend quite a bit of time with her grandparents in south florida learning from an older generations wisdom.
- Moved into 2/2 with Matt my brother-in-law

etc.


entry 15:Howl

April 7, 2008

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by
madness, starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn
looking for an angry fix,
angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly
connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night,
who poverty and tatters and hollow-eyed and high sat
up smoking in the supernatural darkness of
cold-water flats floating across the tops of cities
contemplating jazz,
who bared their brains to Heaven under the El and
saw Mohammedan angels staggering on tenement roofs illuminated,
who passed through universities with radiant cool eyes
hallucinating Arkansas and Blake-light tragedy
among the scholars of war,
who were expelled from the academies for crazy &
publishing obscene odes on the windows of the skull,
who cowered in unshaven rooms in underwear,
burning their money in wastebaskets and listening
to the Terror through the wall,
who got busted in their pubic beards returning through
Laredo with a belt of marijuana for New York,
who ate fire in paint hotels or drank turpentine in
Paradise Alley, death, or purgatoried their
torsos night after night
with dreams, with drugs, with waking nightmares,
alcohol and cock and endless balls,
incomparable blind; streets of shuddering cloud and
lightning in the mind leaping toward poles of Canada & Paterson,
illuminating all the motionless world of Time between,
Peyote solidities of halls, backyard green tree cemetery
dawns, wine drunkenness over the rooftops,
storefront boroughs of teahead joyride neon
blinking traffic light, sun and moon and tree
vibrations in the roaring winter dusks of Brooklyn,
ashcan rantings and kind king light of mind,
who chained themselves to subways for the endless
ride from Battery to holy Bronx on benzedrine
until the noise of wheels and children brought
them down shuddering mouth-wracked and
battered bleak of brain all drained of brilliance
in the drear light of Zoo,
who sank all night in submarine light of Bickford’s
floated out and sat through the stale beer after
noon in desolate Fugazzi’s, listening to the crack
of doom on the hydrogen jukebox,
who talked continuously seventy hours from park to
pad to bar to Bellevue to museum to the Brooklyn Bridge,
lost battalion of platonic conversationalists jumping
down the stoops off fire escapes off windowsills
off Empire State out of the moon,
yacketayakking screaming vomiting whispering facts
and memories and anecdotes and eyeball kicks
and shocks of hospitals and jails and wars,
whole intellects disgorged in total recall for seven days
and nights with brilliant eyes, meat for the
Synagogue cast on the pavement,
who vanished into nowhere Zen New Jersey leaving a
trail of ambiguous picture postcards of Atlantic City Hall,
suffering Eastern sweats and Tangerian bone-grind-ings and
migraines of China under junk-with-drawal in Newark’s bleak furnished room,
who wandered around and around at midnight in the
railroad yard wondering where to go, and went,
leaving no broken hearts,
who lit cigarettes in boxcars boxcars boxcars racketing
through snow toward lonesome farms in grand-father night,
who studied Plotinus Poe St. John of the Cross telepathy
and bop kabbalah because the cosmos instinctively
vibrated at their feet in Kansas,
who loned it through the streets of Idaho seeking visionary
indian angels who were visionary indian angels,
who thought they were only mad when Baltimore
gleamed in supernatural ecstasy,
who jumped in limousines with the Chinaman of Oklahoma on the impulse of winter midnight street
light smalltown rain,
who lounged hungry and lonesome through Houston
seeking jazz or sex or soup, and followed the
brilliant Spaniard to converse about America
and Eternity, a hopeless task, and so took ship to Africa,
who disappeared into the volcanoes of Mexico leaving
behind nothing but the shadow of dungarees
and the lava and ash of poetry scattered in fireplace Chicago,
who reappeared on the West Coast investigating the
F.B.I. in beards and shorts with big pacifist
eyes sexy in their dark skin passing out incomprehensible leaflets,
who burned cigarette holes in their arms protesting
the narcotic tobacco haze of Capitalism,
who distributed Supercommunist pamphlets in Union
Square weeping and undressing while the sirens
of Los Alamos wailed them down, and wailed
down Wall, and the Staten Island ferry also wailed,
who broke down crying in white gymnasiums naked
and trembling before the machinery of other skeletons,
who bit detectives in the neck and shrieked with delight
in policecars for committing no crime but their
own wild cooking pederasty and intoxication,
who howled on their knees in the subway and were
dragged off the roof waving genitals and manuscripts,
who let themselves be fucked in the ass by saintly
motorcyclists, and screamed with joy,
who blew and were blown by those human seraphim,
the sailors, caresses of Atlantic and Caribbean love,
who balled in the morning in the evenings in rose
gardens and the grass of public parks and
cemeteries scattering their semen freely to
whomever come who may,
who hiccuped endlessly trying to giggle but wound up
with a sob behind a partition in a Turkish Bath
when the blond & naked angel came to pierce
them with a sword,
who lost their loveboys to the three old shrews of fate
the one eyed shrew of the heterosexual dollar
the one eyed shrew that winks out of the womb
and the one eyed shrew that does nothing but
sit on her ass and snip the intellectual golden
threads of the craftsman’s loom,
who copulated ecstatic and insatiate with a bottle of
beer a sweetheart a package of cigarettes a candle and fell off the bed, and continued along
the floor and down the hall and ended fainting
on the wall with a vision of ultimate cunt and
come eluding the last gyzym of consciousness,
who sweetened the snatches of a million girls trembling
in the sunset, and were red eyed in the morning
but prepared to sweeten the snatch of the sun
rise, flashing buttocks under barns and naked in the lake,
who went out whoring through Colorado in myriad
stolen night-cars, N.C., secret hero of these
poems, cocksman and Adonis of Denver-joy
to the memory of his innumerable lays of girls
in empty lots & diner backyards, moviehouses’
rickety rows, on mountaintops in caves or with
gaunt waitresses in familiar roadside lonely petticoat upliftings & especially secret gas-station
solipsisms of johns, & hometown alleys too,
who faded out in vast sordid movies, were shifted in
dreams, woke on a sudden Manhattan, and
picked themselves up out of basements hung
over with heartless Tokay and horrors of Third
Avenue iron dreams & stumbled to unemployment offices,
who walked all night with their shoes full of blood on
the snowbank docks waiting for a door in the
East River to open to a room full of steamheat and opium,
who created great suicidal dramas on the apartment
cliff-banks of the Hudson under the wartime
blue floodlight of the moon & their heads shall
be crowned with laurel in oblivion,
who ate the lamb stew of the imagination or digested
the crab at the muddy bottom of the rivers of Bowery,
who wept at the romance of the streets with their
pushcarts full of onions and bad music,
who sat in boxes breathing in the darkness under the
bridge, and rose up to build harpsichords in their lofts,
who coughed on the sixth floor of Harlem crowned
with flame under the tubercular sky surrounded
by orange crates of theology,
who scribbled all night rocking and rolling over lofty
incantations which in the yellow morning were
stanzas of gibberish,
who cooked rotten animals lung heart feet tail borsht
& tortillas dreaming of the pure vegetable kingdom,
who plunged themselves under meat trucks looking for an egg,
who threw their watches off the roof to cast their ballot
for Eternity outside of Time, & alarm clocks
fell on their heads every day for the next decade,
who cut their wrists three times successively unsuccessfully, gave up and were forced to open antique
stores where they thought they were growing
old and cried,
who were burned alive in their innocent flannel suits
on Madison Avenue amid blasts of leaden verse
& the tanked-up clatter of the iron regiments
of fashion & the nitroglycerine shrieks of the
fairies of advertising & the mustard gas of sinister intelligent editors, or were run down by the
drunken taxicabs of Absolute Reality,
who jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge this actually happened and walked away unknown and forgotten
into the ghostly daze of Chinatown soup alley
ways & firetrucks, not even one free beer,
who sang out of their windows in despair, fell out of
the subway window, jumped in the filthy Passaic, leaped on negroes,
cried all over the street,
danced on broken wineglasses barefoot smashed
phonograph records of nostalgic European
1930s German jazz finished the whiskey and
threw up groaning into the bloody toilet, moans
in their ears and the blast of colossal steam whistles,
who barreled down the highways of the past journeying
to each other’s hotrod-Golgotha jail-solitude
watch or Birmingham jazz incarnation,
who drove crosscountry seventytwo hours to find out
if I had a vision or you had a vision or he had
a vision to find out Eternity,
who journeyed to Denver, who died in Denver, who
came back to Denver & waited in vain, who
watched over Denver & brooded & loned in
Denver and finally went away to find out the
Time, & now Denver is lonesome for her heroes,
who fell on their knees in hopeless cathedrals praying
for each other’s salvation and light and breasts,
until the soul illuminated its hair for a second,
who crashed through their minds in jail waiting for
impossible criminals with golden heads and the
charm of reality in their hearts who sang sweet
blues to Alcatraz,
who retired to Mexico to cultivate a habit, or Rocky
Mount to tender Buddha or Tangiers to boys
or Southern Pacific to the black locomotive or
Harvard to Narcissus to Woodlawn to the
daisychain or grave,
who demanded sanity trials accusing the radio of hyp
notism & were left with their insanity & their
hands & a hung jury,
who threw potato salad at CCNY lecturers on Dadaism
and subsequently presented themselves on the
granite steps of the madhouse with shaven heads
and harlequin speech of suicide, demanding instantaneous lobotomy,
and who were given instead the concrete void of insulin
Metrazol electricity hydrotherapy psychotherapy occupational
therapy pingpong & amnesia,
who in humorless protest overturned only one symbolic
pingpong table, resting briefly in catatonia,
returning years later truly bald except for a wig of
blood, and tears and fingers, to the visible mad
man doom of the wards of the madtowns of the East,
Pilgrim State’s Rockland’s and Greystone’s foetid
halls, bickering with the echoes of the soul,
rocking and rolling in the midnight solitude-bench
dolmen-realms of love, dream of life a nightmare,
bodies turned to stone as heavy as the moon,
with mother finally ******, and the last fantastic book
flung out of the tenement window, and the last
door closed at 4. A.M. and the last telephone
slammed at the wall in reply and the last furnished room
emptied down to the last piece of mental furniture,
a yellow paper rose twisted on a wire hanger in the closet,
and even that imaginary,
nothing but a hopeful little bit of hallucination
ah, Carl, while you are not safe I am not safe, and
now you’re really in the total animal soup of time
and who therefore ran through the icy streets obsessed
with a sudden flash of the alchemy of the use
of the ellipse the catalog the meter & the vibrating plane,
who dreamt and made incarnate gaps in Time & Space
through images juxtaposed, and trapped the
archangel of the soul between 2 visual images
and joined the elemental verbs and set the noun
and dash of consciousness together jumping
with sensation of Pater Omnipotens Aeterna Deus
to recreate the syntax and measure of poor human
prose and stand before you speechless and intelligent
and shaking with shame,
rejected yet confessing out the soul to conform to the rhythm
of thought in his naked and endless head,
the madman bum and angel beat in Time, unknown,
yet putting down here what might be left to say
in time come after death,
and rose reincarnate in the ghostly clothes of jazz in
the goldhorn shadow of the band and blew the
suffering of America’s naked mind for love into
an eli eli lamma lamma sabacthani saxophone
cry that shivered the cities down to the last radio
with the absolute heart of the poem of life butchered
out of their own bodies good to eat a thousand years.
What sphinx of cement and aluminum bashed open
their skulls and ate up their brains and imagination?
Moloch! Solitude! Filth! Ugliness! Ashcans and unob
tainable dollars! Children screaming under the
stairways! Boys sobbing in armies! Old men
weeping in the parks!
Moloch! Moloch! Nightmare of Moloch! Moloch the
loveless! Mental Moloch! Moloch the heavy
judger of men!
Moloch the incomprehensible prison! Moloch the
crossbone soulless jailhouse and Congress of
sorrows! Moloch whose buildings are judgment!
Moloch the vast stone of war! Moloch the stunned governments!
Moloch whose mind is pure machinery! Moloch whose
blood is running money! Moloch whose fingers
are ten armies! Moloch whose breast is a cannibal dynamo!
Moloch whose ear is a smoking tomb!
Moloch whose eyes are a thousand blind windows!
Moloch whose skyscrapers stand in the long
streets like endless Jehovahs! Moloch whose factories
dream and croak in the fog! Moloch whose
smokestacks and antennae crown the cities!
Moloch whose love is endless oil and stone! Moloch
whose soul is electricity and banks! Moloch
whose poverty is the specter of genius! Moloch
whose fate is a cloud of sexless hydrogen!
Moloch whose name is the Mind!
Moloch in whom I sit lonely! Moloch in whom I dream
Angels! Crazy in Moloch! Cocksucker in
Moloch! Lacklove and manless in Moloch!
Moloch who entered my soul early! Moloch in whom
I am a consciousness without a body! Moloch
who frightened me out of my natural ecstasy!
Moloch whom I abandon! Wake up in Moloch!
Light streaming out of the sky!
Moloch! Moloch! Robot apartments! invisible suburbs!
skeleton treasuries! blind capitals! demonic
industries! spectral nations! invincible mad
houses! granite cocks! monstrous bombs!
They broke their backs lifting Moloch to Heaven! Pave-
ments, trees, radios, tons! lifting the city to
Heaven which exists and is everywhere about us!
Visions! omens! hallucinations! miracles! ecstasies!
gone down the American river!
Dreams! adorations! illuminations! religions! the whole
boatload of sensitive bullshit!
Breakthroughs! over the river! flips and crucifixions!
gone down the flood! Highs! Epiphanies! Despairs!
Ten years’ animal screams and suicides!
Minds! New loves! Mad generation! down on
the rocks of Time!
Real holy laughter in the river! They saw it all! the
wild eyes! the holy yells! They bade farewell!
They jumped off the roof! to solitude! waving!
carrying flowers! Down to the river! into the street!
Carl Solomon! I’m with you in Rockland
where you’re madder than I am
I’m with you in Rockland
where you must feel very strange
I’m with you in Rockland
where you imitate the shade of my mother
I’m with you in Rockland
where you’ve murdered your twelve secretaries
I’m with you in Rockland
where you laugh at this invisible humor
I’m with you in Rockland
where we are great writers on the same dreadful typewriter
I’m with you in Rockland
where your condition has become serious and
is reported on the radio
I’m with you in Rockland
where the faculties of the skull no longer admit
the worms of the senses
I’m with you in Rockland
where you drink the tea of the breasts of the
spinsters of Utica
I’m with you in Rockland
where you pun on the bodies of your nurses the
harpies of the Bronx
I’m with you in Rockland
where you scream in a straightjacket that you’re
losing the game of the actual pingpong of the abyss
I’m with you in Rockland
where you bang on the catatonic piano the soul
is innocent and immortal it should never die
ungodly in an armed madhouse
I’m with you in Rockland
where fifty more shocks will never return your
soul to its body again from its pilgrimage to a
cross in the void
I’m with you in Rockland
where you accuse your doctors of insanity and
plot the Hebrew socialist revolution against the
fascist national Golgotha
I’m with you in Rockland
where you will split the heavens of Long Island
and resurrect your living human Jesus from the
superhuman tomb
I’m with you in Rockland
where there are twenty-five-thousand mad com-
rades all together singing the final stanzas of
the Internationale
I’m with you in Rockland
where we hug and kiss the United States under
our bedsheets the United States that coughs all
night and won’t let us sleep
I’m with you in Rockland
where we wake up electrified out of the coma
by our own souls’ airplanes roaring over the
roof they’ve come to drop angelic bombs the
hospital illuminates itself imaginary walls collapse
O skinny legions run outside O starry
spangled shock of mercy the eternal war is
here O victory forget your underwear we’re free
I’m with you in Rockland
in my dreams you walk dripping from a sea-
journey on the highway across America in tears
to the door of my cottage in the Western night

– Allen Ginsberg


entry 14: the genius of the crowd

March 17, 2008

there is enough treachery, hatred violence absurdity in the average
human being to supply any given army on any given day

and the best at murder are those who preach against it
and the best at hate are those who preach love
and the best at war finally are those who preach peace

those who preach god, need god
those who preach peace do not have peace
those who preach peace do not have love

beware the preachers
beware the knowers
beware those who are always reading books
beware those who either detest poverty
or are proud of it
beware those quick to praise
for they need praise in return
beware those who are quick to censor
they are afraid of what they do not know
beware those who seek constant crowds for
they are nothing alone
beware the average man the average woman
beware their love, their love is average
seeks average

but there is genius in their hatred
there is enough genius in their hatred to kill you
to kill anybody
not wanting solitude
not understanding solitude
they will attempt to destroy anything
that differs from their own
not being able to create art
they will not understand art
they will consider their failure as creators
only as a failure of the world
not being able to love fully
they will believe your love incomplete
and then they will hate you
and their hatred will be perfect

like a shining diamond
like a knife
like a mountain
like a tiger
like hemlock

their finest art

- Charles Bukowski


entry 13: lessons learned

March 5, 2008

Not too long ago I stressed myself out pretty frequently. I made myself feel all of this pressure to be “transformative information”, meaning that whatever I spoke had to be packed with meaning which lead whoever I spoke with to some new understanding that made their life is some way… better. This is not a bad standard to hold yourself to for awhile, it certainly takes you to a place where at the very least, your worldview is expanded. However, I’m starting to find a way that is a bit more effective.

These days, I’m understanding that whatever I teach, whatever I speak into someone’s life doesn’t count for much as I’d like to think unless I’m involved in that person’s life and likewise that person is involved in my life. Being involved in a friend’s life in a way that is productive is no casual affair, there are two key components that are essential in order for relationships to thrive:

HEALTH. The health of your life that is observed rather than talked about speaks more volume than words ever could. When I say health, I’m not specifically talking about your physical well-being (although that does factor in), I am speaking of health in a more holistic sense, down to the last detail in fact. How well you manage money directly correlates to how many of your friends will seek you out for financial advice, or how equipped you are able to bail a friend out in a tough financial spot. Further, if you are involved in a serious relationship (married or not) and maintain the health of that relationship, it speaks to your friends and other observers of your life that you have a pretty decent handle on what it means to love and communicate with care the things that matter. This isn’t to say that your life must be perfect but the healthier it is the more equipped you are to pull the relationships in your life up and in the same way your friends that exhibit health in their life are able to pull you up through the hard times.

INTENTIONALITY. Once a premise is established for your relationship(s) (friend or otherwise) a degree of intentionality needs to occur. Relationships thrive when they are pursued with intention. Being intentional is so telling of how much care and value you have on any given relationship. If you don’t consistently make it a point to have significant conversations with your friendships they will quickly fall by the wayside and the premise established is betrayed and forgotten about. Intention goes beyond just maintaining consistency in the relationship, intention also is about being interested in a result. This isn’t to say that the result should be forced but I’m finding that the relationships I have that I value the most are the ones that I know have people that want to see something happen in me that is productive. This is shown when friends speak things into your life that are hard to hear but need to be said, when thought provoking questions are asked and when seemingly random kindness teaches you a lesson.