entry 14: the genius of the crowd

there is enough treachery, hatred violence absurdity in the average
human being to supply any given army on any given day

and the best at murder are those who preach against it
and the best at hate are those who preach love
and the best at war finally are those who preach peace

those who preach god, need god
those who preach peace do not have peace
those who preach peace do not have love

beware the preachers
beware the knowers
beware those who are always reading books
beware those who either detest poverty
or are proud of it
beware those quick to praise
for they need praise in return
beware those who are quick to censor
they are afraid of what they do not know
beware those who seek constant crowds for
they are nothing alone
beware the average man the average woman
beware their love, their love is average
seeks average

but there is genius in their hatred
there is enough genius in their hatred to kill you
to kill anybody
not wanting solitude
not understanding solitude
they will attempt to destroy anything
that differs from their own
not being able to create art
they will not understand art
they will consider their failure as creators
only as a failure of the world
not being able to love fully
they will believe your love incomplete
and then they will hate you
and their hatred will be perfect

like a shining diamond
like a knife
like a mountain
like a tiger
like hemlock

their finest art

- Charles Bukowski

entry 13: lessons learned

Not too long ago I stressed myself out pretty frequently. I made myself feel all of this pressure to be “transformative information”, meaning that whatever I spoke had to be packed with meaning which lead whoever I spoke with to some new understanding that made their life is some way… better. This is not a bad standard to hold yourself to for awhile, it certainly takes you to a place where at the very least, your worldview is expanded. However, I’m starting to find a way that is a bit more effective.

These days, I’m understanding that whatever I teach, whatever I speak into someone’s life doesn’t count for much as I’d like to think unless I’m involved in that person’s life and likewise that person is involved in my life. Being involved in a friend’s life in a way that is productive is no casual affair, there are two key components that are essential in order for relationships to thrive:

HEALTH. The health of your life that is observed rather than talked about speaks more volume than words ever could. When I say health, I’m not specifically talking about your physical well-being (although that does factor in), I am speaking of health in a more holistic sense, down to the last detail in fact. How well you manage money directly correlates to how many of your friends will seek you out for financial advice, or how equipped you are able to bail a friend out in a tough financial spot. Further, if you are involved in a serious relationship (married or not) and maintain the health of that relationship, it speaks to your friends and other observers of your life that you have a pretty decent handle on what it means to love and communicate with care the things that matter. This isn’t to say that your life must be perfect but the healthier it is the more equipped you are to pull the relationships in your life up and in the same way your friends that exhibit health in their life are able to pull you up through the hard times.

INTENTIONALITY. Once a premise is established for your relationship(s) (friend or otherwise) a degree of intentionality needs to occur. Relationships thrive when they are pursued with intention. Being intentional is so telling of how much care and value you have on any given relationship. If you don’t consistently make it a point to have significant conversations with your friendships they will quickly fall by the wayside and the premise established is betrayed and forgotten about. Intention goes beyond just maintaining consistency in the relationship, intention also is about being interested in a result. This isn’t to say that the result should be forced but I’m finding that the relationships I have that I value the most are the ones that I know have people that want to see something happen in me that is productive. This is shown when friends speak things into your life that are hard to hear but need to be said, when thought provoking questions are asked and when seemingly random kindness teaches you a lesson.